She picked up one of the empty bottles and sniffed its contents; the bottle had contained almond brandy, now all gone. “Arthur!” she cried in exasperation, “what have you done?!” Still came there no response from Father Christmas. There was nothing for it, Father Christmas would have to be put to bed. A team of […]
Mother Christmas Takes Over – Part 2 Read More »
There can be no doubt about it, Father Christmas was drunk. As much as it pains me to relate this fact, there is no escaping it. The elves knew it, the reindeer knew it, the polar bears knew it. Why does this matter? Well, Father Christmas was drunk on the day before Christmas. The
Mother Christmas Takes Over – Part 1 Read More »
“Well,” I said, not knowing anything about Freud apart from a book review I had read in the TLS some years before, “think Patricia Highsmith then, is that dark enough for you?” “Patricia Highsmith I can work with.” We had left the discussion there, all that remained was for me to write the book.
On Corfu: A Dry Patch – Part 3 Read More »
Sohpia emerged once more from the house, carrying the precious liquid cargo; she handed me the glass without comment, an ice cube tinkling deliciously. “Dinner ready soon Mr Gardner. You eat in dining room?” Sophia knew that by eating in the dining room, I would be less likely to drink, as I considered drinking on
On Corfu: A Dry Patch – Part 2 Read More »
Lord Byron turned on his back; he eyed my bare feet, which lay tantalisingly close to his paws, one big toe waving in time to the Greek pop song playing on the radio in the kitchen, where Sophia was preparing dinner. I sat in my favourite armchair on the terrace, and sipped from a glass
On Corfu: A Dry Patch – Part 1 Read More »
They walked upstairs, the door to No. 4 was still open. The flat had the same stale aroma as the front hall, it was a cheap rental property, with little furniture. “I say again, what is the meaning of this?” snorted Depardon, Templeman showed Depardon his warrant card. “Special Branch? Why is Special Branch involved?”
Templeman: Lost Property – Part 3 Read More »
“Why don’t Service officers do these shifts?” asked Cosby. Templeman pondered a reply. “There are two reasons Micky; the first is the official one, the second the unofficial one. The official reason is that Secret Service officers do not have a power of arrest, they hold no police warrant and can take no one into
Templeman: Lost Property – Part 2 Read More »
Templeman yawned, his breath rapidly condensing in the darkened cabin of the Ford Zodiac as warm and cold collided. He was tired and his limbs were numb: sleep beckoned; it was the animal response to the wintry night. He considered the bonnet of the car, where a sheet of frost had formed as the vehicle
Templeman: Lost Property – Part 1 Read More »
Went the day well? Went the day well? I sipped cold beer in the hot garden And dozed in a chair. Went the day well? I thought of work And decided not to think of it again. Went the day well? I made a list of the things to delay to another
Poetry: Went the day well? Read More »
Daunting “Daunting, isn’t it?” I offered inadequately To the sweating workman Who grunted like a weightlifter attempting to lift a bus And offered me an eye full of evil and contempt in reply. “Are you sure there isn’t another way?” “Perhaps a block and tackle? You know, lift it?” Pointing up to the first-floor window